Black Sheep

I should keep my thoughts to myself. Something I have realized is that I have entirely separated myself from the 'outside' world. I have this urge to be solitary. Alone time seems to be the only time that I am actually thinking consciously. I have made this label for myself in my family as the 'black sheep'. It never seems to workout with me and my family and I understand that. It was ever since I could remember as a child, I always saw everything in a completely different way as everyone else. My anger only follows as natural defense to defend my point of view, but that itself is the problem. I am going to lose focus every time I fail. I am going to direct my anger to any opposing thought or feeling. I am going to evolve this way hopefully I will evolve to find the positive aspects, but only time can tell. Where can I go to find myself?

It Begins...

Everything that doesn't matter always has an ending, but something that is truly genuine will always exist somehow, somewhere, someplace, Always. I don't know who I am yet, but who I am now is still being molded, I am still being programmed. I am like a prototype machine that is going through maintenance and everything I am doing is to make the next move a better one, until finally my soul, who is the engineer of this machine, will be able to allow me to be on my own and fulfill my purpose. I will forever strive to find the balance in everything. To  truly define the middle and control myself perfectly.  

Emerging

The creations of God begins at the atomic level. God is an artist. God is everywhere at once, similar to an atom's electrons non-fixed orbit, meaning, an electron can be anywhere at any moment rotating the nucleus. When I reflect on this I think of our Earth being the nucleus and God being the electron. Our nature is to figure out and advance. We are not trying to figure about how to become God, we are doing what he is probably expecting we'll do... Try to find him.

As Above So Below

Everything is different but same if you take the time to look for the similarities. The water always seems to mimic the sky. When the sky is blue during the day the oceans are blue as well. At night when space is visible and dark the water becomes dark as well. In space, as in water, humans cannot survive in our natural bodies alone. In both environments we have transport vehicles and suits to protect us from these areas that cannot sustain human life. We are in the middle of this 'universe'. We have evolved in the right place at the right time, that is evidence that we are here for a reason. I have a feeling that somewhere in space there is a civilization that believes the same. When you take water and dirt and mix it, it will make mud. With mud you can alter the physical properties and make different shapes of different proportions. There are different animals of different sizes and different shapes. All of us are the same in what we're made of, flesh and bones. Any living being can look different or be of different color or be twice your size or maybe even half your size, that doesn't mean your different.